The ‘social contract’ between parents and teachers: broken beyond repair?

The statements in November about school-parent relations from Amanda Spielman, the departing Chief Inspector of Ofsted, don't come as much of a shock to me. Her concern about a 'breakdown in relations' between schools and parents, along with a 'troubling shift in attendance, attitudes, and behaviour since the pandemic,' is not only reflected in statistics but also supported by a myriad of anecdotal evidence. Absenteeism- with its impact not only on academic achievement but a raft of social and developmental implications- has emerged as a persistent issue.  The overall absence rate across all schools in England was at 7.3% in 2022-23 compared to 4.7% in 2018-19. And I hear daily about the increased levels of disruption in lessons and abuse- both verbal and physical- levelled at teachers just doing their jobs.

In the Spring of 2023, student protests erupted throughout the UK, primarily focused on issues related to using toilets during lesson time and often instigated by viral TikTok videos.  But what was perhaps most surprising was the number of parents on social media applauding their children taking part.

This "shift in attitudes" was noted by Spielman among parents as well as students. Her report observed that parents displayed a reduced inclination to support schools, and a increased tendency to criticise them. And although Ofsted noted a rise in grievances from parents, there was no corresponding increase in actionable complaints.

Complaints are piling up, and the connection between parents and schools, strained by the pandemic, is still on the mend. And what a strain it was!

The upheaval in education due to COVID-19 appears to have triggered the onset of this decline. Confused and shifting messaging from the government about closures, and more urgency from the authorities to open hairdressers than schools perhaps led Spielman to note that the pandemic led to 'less respect for the principle of a full-time education.' Indeed, I observe, both as a parent at the school gate and through conversations with ACT members, an elevated readiness in recent years among parents to withdraw their children from school for holidays. Coupled with a decreasing enthusiasm for engaging with the school community and an overarching sense of disconnection from the education system, this results in the vital, unspoken agreement between primary caregivers and educational providers beginning to erode.

We can’t pretend that the explanation for this downturn is simple though. There are numerous factors, and although the pandemic may have been the catalyst, there are issues of mental health, increased financial pressures due to the cost of living, the impact of social media, and of course, widening cultural questions about identity and authority.

The question of authority isn’t just a difficult one for students and parents- it’s a hard and uncomfortable one for a lot of people- teachers as well!  We live in an anti-authority age in which we're sceptical of those who hold power. You only have to go on Twitter to see the level of vitriol aimed at politicians of all persuasions. And there are legitimate reasons to doubt many leaders. We have seen, time and time again, how leaders have let us down and abused their power; even leaders in the church have fallen from grace in dramatic ways in recent years.

We're in a post-truth era. We don't even know who to trust, or what to trust. Within these institutions that used to be trustworthy, we often don't know who to have confidence in anymore.

So is the answer to ‘reimagine education’, to throw in the towel and dismantle the structures that once appeared to command authority?

The unwritten social contract between home and school may indeed be on the verge of unravelling.

But as Christ’s ambassadors in a world full of conflict, we need to be leading the way in restoring this crucial relationship.

Whether we are parents, teachers, or any other stakeholder in education, Christians need to be counter-cultural in the way that we approach authority. We need to be the pioneers- whether we are teachers, or parents, or both- in restoring some of these broken relationships, and letting our demeanour point to the truth of the Gospel.

If we are parents, how should we respond when our kids' school has strict uniform rules or hands out hefty punishments for small infringements? As teachers, how should we handle increasingly disruptive behaviour and unsupportive parents? When school leaders make seemingly unwise or unfair decisions, how should staff react? The answer to all these questions is quite straightforward: with honour and respect. Even if we don't necessarily agree with certain policies or individuals, the Bible instructs us to uphold a sense of respect for others- particularly our authorities. Romans 13:1-2 states: "Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established.”

And maintaining a similarly patient and generous attitude toward students- and indeed parents- is imperative. This doesn’t mean we don’t share our critical opinions; indeed, we must be honest. But if we are taking the lead, we will look like Jesus- never sugarcoating our message, but always speaking the truth in love.

This means that we won't fire off a strongly worded email; instead, we'll request a face-to-face meeting to address any concerns with a sincere aim of finding a resolution. Rather than immediately escalating to the top, we'll discreetly initiate the process from the ground level, navigating towards a solution with grace. We’ll go out of our way to recognise positive attributes in others, generously acknowledging commendable traits, and expressing gratitude for efforts, no matter how small.

Likewise, showing respect to our head of department or headteacher doesn't imply blind agreement with every decision they make. According to the Bible, our primary allegiance is to the Lord, and if a situation contradicts His Word, we're not compelled to comply. Nevertheless, we're still charged to love and honour the person involved. As followers of Christ, this means praying for them, refraining from cynicism, and refusing to ridicule them. It means acknowledging their divine image. And even amid disagreements, we are called to extend honour.

As Christians, we are held to a higher standard, and responding with excessive reactions, mockery, or antagonistic behaviour contradicts the way the Bible instructs us to foster relationships—with students, parents, or leaders. We have been dealt with ever so gently by our saviour, so we must be gentle with others too.

God took the initiative to restore our broken relationship with Him, even when we were unreasonable and obstinate.  Let’s do likewise and pursue ‘shalom’ in Education, for “God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.” 2 Corinthians 5:19