Sometimes it's just hard...
There are days when the good bits of teaching get clouded. Weeks when the joy of seeing young lives grow feels small compared to all the things that are feeling hard. There are times when laughter with colleagues is displaced by a quiet cry in the bathroom. Months when the routine is less about using our gifts and more about an endless list of fire-fighting the classroom disruption, the paperwork, the expectation of others and the criticism around.
Of course, it’s not just the things coming from the outside that make life hard. There’s that inner voice too that sometimes drags us down. Phrases like, “I’m not good enough” – “I’ve messed up again” – “I’ll never meet that deadline” – “Everyone hates me” spiral through our minds and, in the heat of exhaustion, seem far more credible than what is true.
Sometimes such seasons pass quickly. At other times – maybe in these pandemic times – they can linger a little more. We’re just too tired, too distracted, with yet another timetable change and still more packs to email to students at home, to be able to fight the negative thoughts or hear the encouragement around. At times like this, life can turn into a treadmill and there are moments when all we can think about is how to make it end.
If any of that sounds familiar, it’s time to pause. I know it’s not easy – there are things to do – but you’re finite. It’s God-honouring to take some rest. For some of us, that rest may need to be substantial as we take some time out but, for others of us, a micro-sabbath in the middle of the day may be more where we’re at. So, for a few short minutes, let me encourage you to put down your pen, your planning, your marking, your meeting prep and hear what the Lord is saying to you now.
When Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus, there were many things from God to say. But he started, in chapter 1, by reminding his readers of who they were and what God had done for them. God’s words to them are words to you too:
You are blessed. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ (verse 3). Even on the hardest of days, God is pouring good things into your life. He’s providing for you, caring for you – and most importantly – has saved you for a relationship with him that lasts for eternity. Sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of his generosity. Sometimes the hard feels like it outweighs the good. But it doesn’t. Even on the worst of days, the saving kindness of God is extraordinary.
Why not, take a few minutes to list out examples of his generosity now?
You are his precious child. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will (verse 4-5). God doesn’t just bless from afar, he holds us close. You’re not the person you used to be. You’re in his family: loved, cherished and new. That comes with responsibility – to live for him – but, at its core, it’s a privilege. And it gives you access to your heavenly Father any time – you can run to him, cling to him, cry to him and know that he will answer in ways that provide, because he delights in hearing your voice.
Why not take a few moments to express your love to him, pour out your heart to him, and thank him for the love he has for you?
You are clean. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us (verse 7-8). You’re not an irretrievable mess. You’re not a pointless failure. You’re not the hopeless case who always gets things wrong. You’re clean. There will be moments when we mess up, of course – that’s true for all of us – and there will be times to say “sorry” and areas to change. But, big picture, you’re forgiven. There’s absolutely no need to carry guilt or shame. In Christ, there is no condemnation – and God never gets tired of making that so.
Why not take a few minutes and dwell afresh on who God has made you to be and reorient any lingering sense of guilt or hopelessness back towards the forgiveness and grace that the risen and reigning Christ has won for you?
They’re precious words, reorienting words, but he hasn’t just given us words to spur us on, he’s put us in a beautiful world to enjoy! There are green spaces to explore, food to tantalise the tastebuds, music to lighten the heart and friends to help us smile. Engaging with exercise, good nutrition, relationships and things we enjoy are part of his good plan for us – they help us thrive. If you haven’t engaged in them for a while, you could try one now. It’s not self-indulgence, it’s wisdom to treat our bodies well. Living in relationship with others – loving and allowing them to love us in return – is the context in which we were designed to be. And as we turn our eyes to God - as we attend to our body and mind in the way he calls us to - life begins to change…
I know the to-do list is still there. I know that relationship at school is still hard. I know those assessments aren’t far away. But you’re not alone in it. You’re not unequipped for it. You’re not pinned down by failure. You’re free. And knowing that can bring a chink of light, a measure of hope. It can bring us a willingness to share with others that sometimes teaching really is hard. And a confidence too that it’s not impossibly hard to honour God in your teaching today.
Helen Thorne is the Director of Training and Resources at Biblical Counselling UK. She is an experienced speaker, counsellor and author. Stay tuned for more from BCUK!